Episode 92 - Putting the S in “How to S.O.F.T.E.N. a Jerk”

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Jerks happen. You can spot them instantly. You can see someone enter the room – someone you have never laid eyes on before – and your inner sensors tell you, Jerk-alert! It’s like he or she has a blazing neon sign flashing overhead: JERK…JERK…JERK!

Let’s say you’re at work and this person is about to enter your life. What can you do to quickly S.O.F.T.E.N. them up, without caving in or getting into a therapy session?

The S in S.O.F.T.E.N is for smile. I’m from the South and I’ve seen Southern ladies in action: a simple smile packs the power of an airbag in a Toyota. A smile is disarming, especially when it happens unexpectedly. If someone smiles at you, without even thinking about it, what do you do back? Smile. It’s instinctive. And it can instantly take the edge off of a tense moment.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, the best thing about a smile is you already have all the skill you need to make one.

Figure this, if you do the opposite and dig in with a defensive look that says, “I’m ready for battle, jerk. Come at me!” — it would be like throwing lighter fluid on a bar-be-que. No matter how good you are at dishing it out, the jerk probably has more practice. Don’t play his game because he’ll win. Instead, it’s smart to use a smile to help establish the business tone you want.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007 at 5:30 am and is filed under Podcast. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Episode 92 - Putting the S in “How to S.O.F.T.E.N. a Jerk”

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