I bet you hated it when your mother asked, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” That’s a good line for seeding an ulcer in a young stomach.
But you know what? Many professionals twist their stomachs into perpetual pretzels by constantly reminding themselves they are not as good as other people at work. They make unfair comparisons that are unreasonable. Here are some examples: “I don’t have patience like Susan for training new employees.” “I can’t think fast like Tony when it comes to working with customer complaints.” “I wish I had money like Pat, then I wouldn’t be stuck here.”
The challenge is you’re comparing their peak to your valley, their fantastic to your okay, their Ferrari to your Ford, and, of course, you come across as the perpetual second runner up. How’s that for ulcer food?
I think it’s smarter to see them as proof that what you want is obtainable and that, if you really want it, you need to figure out how to get it, too. For example, reframe the comparisons like this: “I admire Susan’s patience. I’m going to practice having patience like Susan.” “If Tony can train himself to think fast, then I can, too, because I’m good at solving challenges. I’m going to get more experience in public speaking.” “Pat knows some things about making money that I don’t. I’m going to ask her what books and magazines she reads about investing.”
I say it’s smart to use comparisons when they light your path.