Episode 151 - Different Strokes for Different Folks
When there’s friction in important relationships don’t be surprised to find a big factor is because they don’t behave the way you think they should.
I’m outgoing, enjoy relationships with lots of people and I like the fun of unconventional thinking. My daughter is more reserved, enjoys a narrow circle of friends and plays by the rules. I’m a hard worker but Amanda works harder; in high school, if she had a project due the next morning, it was not uncommon for her to stick with it through the night to get it done right.
In short, my daughter and I are amazingly different. Since I love her and want her to have a good life, for years I advised, “Sweetheart, lighten up! You take things too seriously.” “It’s easy to make friends! Just put your hand out at church. Do what I do!” “Get your rest. If you don’t finish, your teacher will understand.” What do you think I was doing to her insides? Churning them up! Can you see where I was stirring conflict in our relationship? And I didn’t even know it!
Let me ask you, might you have a relationship in business – or at home — in which you are stirring conflict and you don’t even know it?
The friction smoothed away when I accepted her for wonderful self. Respect replaced frustration, defensiveness and control. Now if she has work that’ll keep her up late, I kiss her on the forehead and say, “I am proud of you. Do what you need to do.”
We still disagree on many things and neither of us will become the other. And that’s OK. What makes me comfortable with life works for me and what makes her comfortable works for her. That understanding has smoothed our relationship.
My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-e16344dba4d7dcbadfd6197fce10dffc}
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Tags: business, relationship