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Some people are sly and crafty. Their humor can be acerbic. I call them weasels. Imagine this: you are at a meeting of your co-workers when, unexpectedly, someone says something wickedly funny, which cracks up everyone. You’d find it pretty funny, too, except the butt of the joke is you.  Perhaps it was clever fun, but then again you feel as if you are being undermined, maybe even subtly attacked. What causes a person to behave like this? Muriel Solomon in her book, “Working with Difficult People,” says the underlying cause could be veiled resentment, hidden hostility or simply a need for attention. What to do?

Here are 5 smart tips:

1. Do not laugh at his comments, even if other people are laughing. Don’t play. This might cause the weasel to blurt out, “Come on. Can’t you take a joke? I was just kidding.”  You don’t have to say anything but if you do, just answer, “I didn’t think it was funny.” Nothing kills humor faster than a dull response. The other people at the meeting will get the message, too, that you don’t appreciate hurtful humor. They won’t laugh next time.
2. Avoid matching wits. Even if you have a clever comeback and win the moment, you are setting up a duel for the next meeting. Who needs that?
3. Ask questions, if you want, such as: “What are you talking about?” “What are you trying to say?”
4. Speak emotionlessly and factually.
5. If the weasel is persistent in making these sniper type remarks about you, schedule a time to discuss the matter privately.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 24th, 2008 at 5:30 am and is filed under Podcast. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.